Soundtracks of My Life

This started playing while I was running the other day and I loved the tempo. It's now a permanent member of my workout playlist.

Another favorite running/workout tune with a great beat...

...and another favorite song by NEEDTOBREATHE

I don't care how positive and hopeful and bright I feel, this song brings me to my knees, a sobbing mess, every single time. Yes, even just posting it, I'm wiping away tears.

And I can't not dance to this song. Can't not. Which makes driving difficult at times.

I'll admit it, Mayer Hawthorne is my latest music crush.

And, this is the sweetest video about forever love that I've seen in a long time.

What's playing in your life these days?

Wordless Wednesday 06

True Friends

I was concerned when I published the last written post that people would think I was passing judgment on them or condemning the use of social media. I hope by now that my long-time readers know me better than that but you never know when you are going to accidentally offend someone. 

I have nothing against Twitter, Facebook, G+, and sites like those. I've enjoyed using them for years and have met amazing people that way. Just for now, they are something I need to eliminate from my life. That doesn't mean I won't possibly come back to them somewhere down the road or that I think everyone else should abandon them. Some people have time for all of that and a full life... I'm just not one of them right now. It was time for me to set priorities and that's how things shook out.

I mentioned in that post that my true friends would understand. Some people don't believe or can't fathom how people you primarily know from social media sites can really be friends--true friends, as in, people you can count on and confide in. My friend, Mary, is that kind of friend. She's been there for me countless times over the past few years and continues to always lend an ear and make me laugh, just when I need it. 

She's written something that I would like you to read. Not because she wrote about me, but because I want you to know her like I do, as a caring, considerate human being who needs to know how important she is... to me, especially. She doesn't think she's a good friend but I think after reading, you'll agree with me that she is one of the best. 

Thank you, Mary!

Wordless Wednesday 05

Feelings I'm Having

I had a dream the other night that I can't seem to shake. I won't share the details but I was left with an overwhelming sense that I'm running out of time. I don't think it was an omen that I'm going to die any time soon-- dreams are rarely that literal--but I did take away a determination to not waste what time I have left, whether that be one year or fifty. 

I want to do so many things. There are many places and countries I want to visit. I want to live outside the country at some point. I want to work in a new field. I want to volunteer in a job that makes me feel like my time on this earth has meant something. As I mentioned at dinner with friends tonight, I'd love to try making ceramics and blowing glass... just to see if I can make something beautiful. There are hundreds of books I want to read and photographs I want to take. There are people I need to know better and people I have yet to meet. There are dreams I haven't even dreamed yet.

So much to do. 

Within hours of waking, I closed my Twitter account. I set the date for when I will get rid of cable television. I am pretty sure Facebook and Google+ will be closed before the end of February. It wasn't that I spent much time on any of those things but they are distractions, none the less. If they aren't there at all, I will spend those minutes doing something that means a little more in the long run. 

I shut down this blog for a few hours and then, after more consideration, opened it again. I still want this little corner of the Internet to document parts of my life, at least for now. But it may not always be here, either. I've decided to write in my journal more, and in more detail. I want an account of more day-to-day decisions and choices and outcomes and feelings because I'm thinking this little journey might be memoir-worthy one day. It's just another feeling I'm having. 

I guess I'm trading in a lot of different connections with hundreds of different people for a few, heartfelt, trustworthy, quality connections. Online friends are wonderful and supportive and there have been times when I wouldn't have made it through the night without them, but I have confidence that the online friends that have become true friends will always be with me. If the others fall away, then I'm willing to live with that. And my true friends will understand my decision. 

The best thing I've decided to do so far this year is sending a handwritten note to someone new each week. There's something about sitting quietly and thinking about someone, especially someone you don't know extremely well, and thinking about what they mean to you, and putting that to paper. It's not only a great exercise in friendship, it's a great writing exercise, and I think the connections I make doing this are going to be strong and important.

It's just another feeling I have.

Wordless Wednesday 04

One Debra, Free of Charge

Three years ago, I was at my breaking point emotionally. I had volunteered concurrently with survivors of sexual abuse/domestic violence and with senior citizens at less-than-stellar long-term care facilities. It had taken a toll on me that I couldn't seem to overcome. I thought moving away from that and working with victims of natural disasters would be a lighter load but really, any heartache is heartache and I was too far gone at that point to help anyone. So with a heavy heart and a wave of guilt, I resigned my posts and focused on digging myself out of that black hole.

But now it's been three long years of rejuvenation and it's been decades since I've been this long without a volunteer job. I would love to get back out there but I'm a little gunshy. My heart still feels for the people I was helping before but I don't think I can go through that again. I end up carrying those burdens on my heart and I tend to be too sensitive anyway... so I know now, it isn't healthy for me.

So what to do instead? I would love to do something I love -- event planning, teaching, or working with animals. Do you have any ideas? I'm not sure where to start. I'm excited to find something that helps me CONNECT with my community.

Just One More

I'm participating in a Pushup Challenge this year that I heard about from my friend, Mary. The gist is that you do one pushup on the first day of the year, two pushups on the second day of the year, ten pushups on the tenth day of the year,  ... and if you're jumping ahead, you know that by the end of the year, you are expected to do 365 pushups on December 31st. Well, except this year because it's Leap Year, I get to do 366 pushups on the last day of the year. When I do something, I go all in. 

It's only three weeks in and I've learned a couple of things. 

• Any goal is conquerable with perseverance... There is no way that I could do one pushup on January 1st and then expect to do 366 on December 31st without doing all the work in between. It's the journey to the goal that is the real reward. And, where you learn the most about yourself.
• ...and a good attitude. When I got on the floor to do pushups this morning, I didn't think to myself, "I have to do 21 pushups." I thought, "I just have to do one more than yesterday." 

And every day, I do just that. Just one more.

The Pushup Challenge is just one of the four fitness goals I've set for myself this year. Are you doing anything to maintain or improve your fitness? I'd love to hear what and how you're doing. Good luck! 

Wordless Wednesday 03

To Jacket or Not To Jacket

I stumbled on a lively debate online about books and how to care for them. It seemed to have started when one person asked, "Dust jackets, yea or nay?" and escalated from there. The overall concensus was that dust jackets should be kept because they increase the resale value of most books, help minimize wear and tear on the covers, and as their name implies, they do keep dust off the spines. A few people admitted to trashing the dust jackets immediately upon purchase to which some die-hards reacted with disgust and refused to chat with those "heathens" again. 

I have a love-hate relationship with dust jackets, myself. Most of them are designed to catch your eye in the bookstore and therefore have pretty garish artwork that doesn't appeal to me. Dust jackets tend to slide around when you're reading and if you take it off, where do you put it? And while dust jackets can help you quickly locate a book on your shelves, the cloth spines are more aesthetically pleasing to me. But, my books have their jackets because as their owner and friend, I feel it's my job to safeguard them. 

A small band of unconventional thinkers said they kept the dust jackets but not on the books. They had a storage box in a closet where they stored the jackets flat so that if they ever wanted to resell their books, they would have them, but in the meantime, they could have the look of beautiful cloth spines on their shelves. 

A couple of people said they got rid of their bound books when they got their Kindle or Nook and now they don't have to worry about dust jackets at all. I can't even imagine. A home without books on shelves... I tear up just thinking of it. Though that might lend credence to the thought that dust jackets will become more valuable over time. As e-readers become more prevalent, having those jackets with their synopses and author information could become quite the collectors' items. 

I had no idea so much could be said about dust jackets. 

What seemed to be more important to everyone was the way owners cared for their books. There are definite do's and don't's to make sure your books last a long time. 

• Sunlight and humidity are natural enemies of your books. Make sure your shelves aren't exposed to direct sunlight and keep your rooms' tempurature regulated. 
• Always store your books upright, never on their sides. I have been known to ignore this when I use a stack of books as a 'book end' to keep other books upright. I do try to swap out the books that are lying down from time to time but I should just decide now to stop this practice. I'll invest in some nice books ends this year.
• Make sure air can flow around your books. This means having some room between the books and the back of the bookcase. 
• Clean your books regularly. To do so, simply take off the dust jacket, hold the book closed and upright, and run a feather duster over the top and sides. 
• Be careful with food and drink around your books. And for goodness sake, don't use your book as a coaster.
• Always use a bookmark to keep your place. Never set down a book open-faced on the table, you'll damage the spine. 
• Never lend a book unless you really don't care about the condition in which it's returned. (Okay, that's my own rule.) I once loaned a mint condition book to a coworker and it was returned looking as though it had been thrown into a pool and then run over by a train. Thankfully, it wasn't a valuable tome. 

 So, what about you? Are you a dust jacket keeper or recycler? Do you care for books like they're friends or just another object in the room? Do you have your own book 'rules'?

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.” ― Oscar Wilde