Wordless Wednesday 04

One Debra, Free of Charge

Three years ago, I was at my breaking point emotionally. I had volunteered concurrently with survivors of sexual abuse/domestic violence and with senior citizens at less-than-stellar long-term care facilities. It had taken a toll on me that I couldn't seem to overcome. I thought moving away from that and working with victims of natural disasters would be a lighter load but really, any heartache is heartache and I was too far gone at that point to help anyone. So with a heavy heart and a wave of guilt, I resigned my posts and focused on digging myself out of that black hole.

But now it's been three long years of rejuvenation and it's been decades since I've been this long without a volunteer job. I would love to get back out there but I'm a little gunshy. My heart still feels for the people I was helping before but I don't think I can go through that again. I end up carrying those burdens on my heart and I tend to be too sensitive anyway... so I know now, it isn't healthy for me.

So what to do instead? I would love to do something I love -- event planning, teaching, or working with animals. Do you have any ideas? I'm not sure where to start. I'm excited to find something that helps me CONNECT with my community.

Just One More

I'm participating in a Pushup Challenge this year that I heard about from my friend, Mary. The gist is that you do one pushup on the first day of the year, two pushups on the second day of the year, ten pushups on the tenth day of the year,  ... and if you're jumping ahead, you know that by the end of the year, you are expected to do 365 pushups on December 31st. Well, except this year because it's Leap Year, I get to do 366 pushups on the last day of the year. When I do something, I go all in. 

It's only three weeks in and I've learned a couple of things. 

• Any goal is conquerable with perseverance... There is no way that I could do one pushup on January 1st and then expect to do 366 on December 31st without doing all the work in between. It's the journey to the goal that is the real reward. And, where you learn the most about yourself.
• ...and a good attitude. When I got on the floor to do pushups this morning, I didn't think to myself, "I have to do 21 pushups." I thought, "I just have to do one more than yesterday." 

And every day, I do just that. Just one more.

The Pushup Challenge is just one of the four fitness goals I've set for myself this year. Are you doing anything to maintain or improve your fitness? I'd love to hear what and how you're doing. Good luck! 

Wordless Wednesday 03

To Jacket or Not To Jacket

I stumbled on a lively debate online about books and how to care for them. It seemed to have started when one person asked, "Dust jackets, yea or nay?" and escalated from there. The overall concensus was that dust jackets should be kept because they increase the resale value of most books, help minimize wear and tear on the covers, and as their name implies, they do keep dust off the spines. A few people admitted to trashing the dust jackets immediately upon purchase to which some die-hards reacted with disgust and refused to chat with those "heathens" again. 

I have a love-hate relationship with dust jackets, myself. Most of them are designed to catch your eye in the bookstore and therefore have pretty garish artwork that doesn't appeal to me. Dust jackets tend to slide around when you're reading and if you take it off, where do you put it? And while dust jackets can help you quickly locate a book on your shelves, the cloth spines are more aesthetically pleasing to me. But, my books have their jackets because as their owner and friend, I feel it's my job to safeguard them. 

A small band of unconventional thinkers said they kept the dust jackets but not on the books. They had a storage box in a closet where they stored the jackets flat so that if they ever wanted to resell their books, they would have them, but in the meantime, they could have the look of beautiful cloth spines on their shelves. 

A couple of people said they got rid of their bound books when they got their Kindle or Nook and now they don't have to worry about dust jackets at all. I can't even imagine. A home without books on shelves... I tear up just thinking of it. Though that might lend credence to the thought that dust jackets will become more valuable over time. As e-readers become more prevalent, having those jackets with their synopses and author information could become quite the collectors' items. 

I had no idea so much could be said about dust jackets. 

What seemed to be more important to everyone was the way owners cared for their books. There are definite do's and don't's to make sure your books last a long time. 

• Sunlight and humidity are natural enemies of your books. Make sure your shelves aren't exposed to direct sunlight and keep your rooms' tempurature regulated. 
• Always store your books upright, never on their sides. I have been known to ignore this when I use a stack of books as a 'book end' to keep other books upright. I do try to swap out the books that are lying down from time to time but I should just decide now to stop this practice. I'll invest in some nice books ends this year.
• Make sure air can flow around your books. This means having some room between the books and the back of the bookcase. 
• Clean your books regularly. To do so, simply take off the dust jacket, hold the book closed and upright, and run a feather duster over the top and sides. 
• Be careful with food and drink around your books. And for goodness sake, don't use your book as a coaster.
• Always use a bookmark to keep your place. Never set down a book open-faced on the table, you'll damage the spine. 
• Never lend a book unless you really don't care about the condition in which it's returned. (Okay, that's my own rule.) I once loaned a mint condition book to a coworker and it was returned looking as though it had been thrown into a pool and then run over by a train. Thankfully, it wasn't a valuable tome. 

 So, what about you? Are you a dust jacket keeper or recycler? Do you care for books like they're friends or just another object in the room? Do you have your own book 'rules'?

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.” ― Oscar Wilde

Wordless Wednesday 02

Stress Less Chesters

This just might be my least favorite time of year. It's so disheartening to hear from so many people that setting goals at New Year's is dumb or a waste of time or that goals are just one more thing at which they fail. 

News flash: Nobody is grading you. 

When I hear people talk about it, I can't help but wonder if they just don't understand how to set goals. There's absolutely no reason why anyone should be frustrated, angry or feeling like a loser just from trying to make changes. Changes that they want, might I add. There are other ways to approach this. 

If you're consistently unable to reach your goals, you may want to rethink your strategy. Don't set yourself up for failure. If you set concurrent goals to lose 30 pounds and to stop smoking, you are probably going to fail. Or wind up in prison for killing a coworker from the stress. Decide which goal is more important for health, financial or social reasons and go after that one. There's always next year to take on the other. 

Tip: If you want to lose 30 pounds, don't set a goal of losing 30 pounds. Set a goal of losing five pounds and then reward yourself with an evening of your favorite magazines and a bubble bath. Then set another five pound goal with a reward attached. You're going to be a lot less stressed, feel achievement at every milestone (which is great for keeping you motivated), and you'll reach the end goal with a lot better frame of mind. And a lot of magazines. 

If you always associate goals with limits/deprivation/pain/punishment, again, rethink your strategy. Nobody died and made you a tyrant. Sure you may want to set a goal to limit sweets or go to the gym more often but who says you can't also have a goal to go out to lunch with your best friend every month? Or buy yourself flowers every payday? My personal fun goal this year is to dance like a drunken monkey every day. Ten days in and it's my favorite part of the day. Look for something fun that will add enjoyment and laughter to your life. 

If you set a goal and don't reach it for whatever reason, avoid the negative self-talk. Celebrate the fact that you identified the change you want to make. There are people who can't even get that far. Review it to see if it can be broken down into smaller, more manageable/achievable goals and start again. Or if you need help, ask. If you just need more time, give it to yourself. You are in control. And throw in another fun goal just to keep up your spirits. 

If you are just repulsed at calling it a goal, call it Chester. It really is that simple. 

Wordless Wednesday 01

And... Disconnect

With my 2012 touchstone word being CONNECT, it has made me mindful of the things from which I will need to DISCONNECT. Life is a dance of complementary opposites like these and it takes the yin and the yang to achieve balance. And, I only thrive when my life is in balance, I know this about myself.

I've been wrestling with the idea of letting some things go. There are one-sided relationships that need to be severed, time wasters that need to be stopped, and insignificant moments that need to step aside for more meaningful ones. It's difficult. Many of those things are fun. Or easy. Or let us 'escape' from the stresses of the day. Doesn't it sound more appealing to play online games for a few hours rather than exercise? Or park yourself on the sofa, in front of the television, instead of taking a class or joining a group where you might meet someone? But where does all that 'easy fun' get you in the long run? Any closer to your dreams? No. 

I understand the argument that we all need a way to unwind and destress. What I don't agree with is that time online or spent watching mindless television is the answer to that. I think adding in more quality, joyful moments either alone or with people you care about is going to do more for our well-being than those other activities ever could. Time spent being creative, talking with friends, exercising, meditating or whatever brings you joy should be the norm in life, not the things we try to squeeze in. 

So, in order to bring in more quality connections, I am preparing myself to release the things that no longer suit me. I'm starting with limiting the time I spend online, or in front of the television, or otherwise doing things that aren't productive or bringing me closer to where I want to be. If I'm not successful in cutting back, then I will cut them out, completely. It's going to be a bit painful but in the end, it will be worth it. 

Do you have anything that you're considering limiting or eliminating from your life? What's your favorite way to unwind? 

Touchstone Word 2012

I think touchstone words are magical. There, I said it. This will be my fifth year of having one and if it plays out as the others have, I will find at the end of it that every major decision, life event, and serendipitous moment will be tied to that word. 

If you aren't sure what a touchstone word is, it is the one word that sums up the direction and feeling the new year will have. Not only do I create goals that guide me in the direction of the word, I also use it whenever I come to one of life's crossroads. I opt for the choice most likely to bring me closer to realizing the word. It hasn't steered me wrong yet.

At the beginning of 2011 I told you my touchstone word for the year was INVEST. And, I did. I spent countless hours and a lot of money on classes to build my creativity. I learned about writing, photography, and painting. I invested in my career by taking on new responsibilities and meeting with leaders within the organization to discuss future opportunities. I invested in my well-being with the practice of yoga, tai chi, meditation, and by becoming vegan. I renovated the kitchen, made minor repairs and upgrades to the rest of the house, and met with a realtor to prepare my house for sale this spring. Whenever I had a day off, it was spent investing in one of these endeavors. I dare say, this was one of the most fulfilling and productive years I've ever had. 

As I've said before, I don't choose my touchstone word... it finds me. And this year, it started whispering in my ear about the end of October. I wasn't even thinking about the new year but there it was, this tiny little voice insistently begging to be noticed. I tried to put it out of my mind, thinking that if it was still around in December, it was definitely the word. As it turned out, I haven't been able to think of anything else since. It just feels right and is the perfect next step in this evolution I'm undergoing. 

My touchstone word for 2012 is CONNECT.

Much of 2011 was spent inwardly, putting forth time, effort, and money into things that would expand my understanding, grow my interests, and poise me for the next steps I need to take. In 2012, I expect my vision to become more outwardly focused. I'm not sure I'm ready to discuss my specific goals but I have some that will help me find connections to people I already love, people I have yet to meet, a community I have yet to find, and with a bit of introspection, to the me I am yet to be. 

This is going to be the best year yet.