Looking for a Hug

When I moved into this home eleven years ago, it felt like me. It probably sounds ridiculous but the moment I stepped over the threshold the first time, it felt like the house hugged me. I knew I was going to buy it at that moment, before even seeing the rest of it. Thankfully, I loved everything about it, from it's angled walls and vaulted ceilings to its dark cherry cabinetry and curved staircase. Everyone who came over said the same thing, "It looks like you, Debra." 

I'm not going to say that the decision to buy this house was completely emotional because it wasn't. I also knew it was going to be a good investment. It has a two car attached garage, three bedrooms and two and a half baths so it is a perfect size for a range of buyers. It's also in a good location in a town known for the quality of its schools and affluent community. When I refinanced this year, the appraisal showed I had been right so yay, let's hear it for increased equity.

However, while I still love my place, it hasn't felt so much like me in recent years. I've been wrestling with moving for quite a while. Part of me wants to sell everything, quit my job and move to... and that's where I get stuck. Move to the mountains? The ocean? The city? They all sound equally appealing depending on my mood that day. And what about a job? I could quit my job and hope to find something in a place I would love to live which would most likely mean significantly less pay in a higher cost of living area. So, yeah. I had better love that new job because it would be the only thing I could afford to do.  I've looked for jobs within the company in many different locations but I'm either too far up the salary grade ladder or, you know, not an engineer, so the jobs options are slim the farther you get from headquarters. 

Or, my other option, and the one I'm favoring now, is to continue to live and work here so I can afford to do all the things I love to do... like weekends in Chicago and trips to Maine and the UK and whatever else I care to do. It just seems to make the most sense, financially and personally.

However, there's still the matter of this house and feeling the need to move. So, I think I've found a great compromise. There is a place here locally that I would love to move to. I've always gotten a great vibe from the neighborhood and last weekend I was able to spend several hours in one of the local businesses and actually witness the interactions of community members. It reminded me exactly of one of the Chicago neighborhoods that I love to visit. It has some beautiful little bungalows with wooden floors, dormer windows and enough character to keep me entranced for a long time and it has everything within walking distance that you could possibly need... restaurants, shopping, library, bookstore, grocery, drugstore... just like a city neighborhood. 

Now I just need to find a realtor and start seriously looking at homes. I don't have a pressing need to move so I should be able to take my time and find that perfect little cottage that will feel like the me I've become. And as crazy as it sounds, I'll know it's the one if I walk across the threshold and it hugs me. I can't wait to find it.

Comments

[Kellee]

It's nice that you know how what the right fit feels like. It totally makes sense that it doesn't feel like you anymore. We are not stagnant beings, especially not you! :) You're a new person, and I'm sure you'll find a new hug to go with it. :)