Starting Today
DebraYesterday
I stared at the Home page of this website for several minutes, thinking about the meaning of the words written there. There are so many things I want to change in my life, so many dreams I want to realize. It just feels like I am not so much starting from this day's place in time to make a new ending as I am right back at Step One. Every day.
There is a woman in my head who is the person I want to be. I can see her. I know how she talks, how she acts, how she thinks, and of what she is capable. Every day I attempt to move closer to becoming her. I have an entire checklist of things that I need to accomplish to become her. Every night I think about her and feel I am no closer to being her than I was that morning. Nothing has been checked off.
The woman in my head is disappointed in the woman I am.
Today
I will stop looking at the woman I want to be as a whole and find one thing to emulate. Then one more. Then one more. I will remember, that in the labor of trying, I am moving closer.
New endings are possible and I am in charge of how they are written. Today, I acknowledge that the writing of the new ending is the adventure and the dream can only be reached by taking the journey.
The woman in my head is proud. And I, I am one step closer.
Reader Comments (7)
So eloquently stated! I feel as if I am on the same type of journey, but I'm not there yet. I need something more concrete to work towards. Once that definition comes, I'll look to you for advice. But, meanwhile, know that there are so many people behind you, cheering you on, and ready to catch you if you stumble.
I don't have a really profound comment to add, but I agree wholeheartedly. One day at a time.
I dunno hon, but I would say stop trying to be the imaginary woman in your head and be the woman that you are. What's so wrong with that? x
Okay. I know we joke that Vincent D'Onofrio brought us together, but when I was Googling that day, do you even KNOW how many sites came up? (Heh. I bet you do.) I lingered over yours – and eventually moved in! – not because of VDO, but because I immediately (IMMEDIATELY) loved your writing voice. So don't you dare ever give up on the writer you are.
And can I say? I love your voice even that much more now that you are are really writing as you. I whole-heartedly five star THAT development, sister!
I need to update my blogroll!!
I'm with X. You have been the one I have admired, adored and often been jealous of. What is wrong with that person, that she wants so badly to change?
Mary/Jodie: Thank you! I am here for you as you are here for me. Any time.
Leslie: Thank you, too! My writing voice is one of the things I am trying to develop so for you to say that, means SO much.
Jynxetta/Bren: Thank you for the kind words. Everyone has a need to grow, though, right? We can start from pretty okay and make our way to GREAT! (I hope!)
I think it is also important to remember that the woman in your head is part of you, and not another person. She is in you, waiting to be uncovered. You are already her, she is in there, the pieces just need to come together. <3