What to Write?
My writing has gone out the window the past couple of weeks. I am one of those people who needs everything, or at least almost everything, in order before I can give my brain over to the creative side. With the stress at work, some issues in my personal life, and the general chaos of trying to fit about 30 hours of life into a 24 hour day, sitting down and writing has not been a priority.
Besides not being able to focus long enough to put words together, I have been feeling uncertain about my decision to write fiction. I have stalled on the novel, my short stories are atrocious, and the one poem I wrote last week was so bad, I laughed, and the subject matter was loss and devastation. So yes, very bad.
I have always wanted to believe I was a writer, that I was born to be a writer. I still believe that, I just wonder if it is fiction I am supposed to be writing. I compare myself to the writers I follow on the internet and I do not seem remotely similar to them. If they are to be believed, their minds are overflowing with story ideas, their characters are so real that they can smell them, and their plots are so complex and detailed that they require the use of graphs and maps and entire binders of notes on back stories and plot points just to keep it all straight.
That is just not me.
There is little I enjoy more than curling up on the sofa with a warm blanket and a good book and reading all afternoon. I just do not know how to write a book I would want to read. Maybe it is inexperience. Maybe it is self-doubt. Maybe it is just a matter of needing a little guidance or education or training.
Or maybe I am just not meant to be a writer of fiction.
I am trying to work through this as best I can. I refuse to give up yet because I do not think I have given it a good try. But in the back of my mind, I am still contemplating other options. Maybe I am meant to write personal articles, slice of life essays or a multi-million dollar self-help book. Maybe I am meant to write a book helping others figure out what to write. I do not know yet.
I know I am a writer. I know I have talent--raw and underdeveloped--but talent. I just do not know what I am supposed to write.
dreams, fiction, new endings, writing in About Writing 
Reader Comments (6)
Very few writers (fiction or otherwise) are able to write fantasticly at the beginning of their journey. It simply comes down to practise, effort and dedication. I follow/read a number of authors, some of whom are in the midst of writing great long series of books, and the difference in style, quality and emergent talent between the early books and the latter ones can be painfully obvious.
You can be a writer who writes rubbish fiction, or poetry, or whatever. This is the way of things. It shouldn't stop you from the act of writing. We are often our own worst critics and I know, from personal experience, that it can dampen the enthusiam, the enjoyment and the creativity. I've read a couple of bits of your fiction and I've enjoyed it, so don't be too hard on yourself.
As for creativity, we seem to lose our ability to be creative and fantastical as we get older (until we get to a certain age and it seems to reverse). Creativity, like anything else, needs regular exercise, good food and careful nurturing. Or unfeasibly large amounts of debauchery, drugs and alcohol. Your choice.
You are a writer, just write to enjoy the act of it and you will soon find out what you like writing and what you are good at. The two don't have to be mutually inclusive :)
You are a writer. Remember that, above all. Then relax into it. If you are too stressed out about WHAT to write, you won't be able to write anything. Try everything. No matter what it is, it's all good practice. But please keep writing. I love reading your posts. I want to read your first book.
My mother was a writer. She wrote. No one READ until she left us and we took the liberty of reading what she wrote , as well as sharing it with others.
Keep writing. Write everything that comes to you. One day you will publish what you write.
Remeber creative writing class? We set in a dimmly lit room and she played very soft music. We were to empty our minds of all outside things and just write every thought that entered our head. We were amazed at the words that found their way to the paper. Some even disturbing- didn't even know that was in me!
Just write and keep writing!!( I am. Don't know my finish product yet either.)
I don't know what to say. How about just a virtual hug? Because I am NOT a writer, and I don't know what to tell you. I can tell you that I love the way you write on your blog. It's like you're talking directly to me...forget about all those other folks that can read it...I get the feeling you're speaking to ME. It's a nice feeling. I'm sure you'll find your way. Until then...((hugs))
Thank you all for the encouragement. I have taken your words to heart and will press on and give it a good try. And, Alissa, virtual hugs (or real ones) are always the perfect response. Thank you!
I am most definitely not a writer, so I really have no advice or direction to offer in the writing process. I only wish I were as talented as you. I love your words.
I have, however, become a creative person. I think it can be said that starting with something that you know is always a safe place to begin. Many photographers start out photographing their children, etc. Perhaps you should write a piece of fiction that is inspired by something you've been through? Even if the plot only begins that way, you can shape it and twist it from there into whatever you'd like. :)
Just an idea. I absolutely believe that you can do it. <3