Meet Up
DebraI have not been able to get the dream out of my mind. Or, rather, I have not been able to get what I perceived to be the message of the dream out of my mind. It bothers me that I spend so much time alone even though my favorite activities of writing and reading dictate it. When I attempt a night out and go to dinner or a movie, most often times I am alone, such is the life of the single woman amongst happily paired-off and parenting friends. Even at work, many hours of the week are spent alone at my desk, in silent companionship with the sole coworker who works near me. There are entire weeks when I do not spend a single hour in friendly non-work pursuits with another person. Even this upcoming trip to Chicago that I am so looking forward to will be spent alone. Other than a few conversations with James, my favorite doorman at the hotel, I may not speak to anyone else other than to order food or give the taxi driver my destination.
I am introverted by nature. Being around large crowds or boisterous people for extended periods drains the life out of me. I need to be alone after those situations to recharge my battery and begin to feel human again. However, one on one conversations or quiet evenings spent with close friends are like fuel. I do not require times like that often but I do need them. Humans need interaction, don't they?
All of this was on my mind Friday afternoon when I finished yet another work day without speaking to anyone. I spent an hour or more thinking of ways to meet people in a casual but friendly atmosphere. Nothing came to mind. I had just given up and picked up the book I was reading when it hit me. A book club. I have never been part of a book club but what an ingenious way to combine two things I enjoy, reading books and talking about books. Add to that meeting new book-loving people and it sounded perfect.
I immediately grabbed the MacBook and Googled local book clubs. I swear to you, I have done this at least once a year since moving here and never with any desirable results. This time, I hit the jackpot. I found a rather strong, active book club in Peoria and joined immediately. Of course, luck being what it is for me sometimes, the June meeting was already closed to additional attendees and I will be out of the country for the July meeting but I am determined to meet them in August, if at all possible.
Once my book club registration was complete, the site I was on offered to show me other clubs in the area. I clicked and was pleasantly surprised (read: shocked) by the number of offerings. I immediately joined an independent film club that meets once a month for the sole intent of watching indie films together. Before I could even think about my nerves, I RSVP'd to their June meeting at a theater in Peoria to watch the independent film playing that night. Actually, this sounds like a great first event for me. A few moments of small talk in the lobby, followed by two hours of a great film (no conversation needed) and then an hour or so of discussion of the film (ready-made topic) sounds like a perfect evening.
Inspired by my sudden burst of bravery, I continued to pursue the list of clubs. Many were centered on hobbies I do not have and there were several 'mommy' groups but then my eye landed on a singles club. At first I had no interest in that one either but the tag line was intriguing so I clicked on it. The website stated in several places that this is not a dating club so that made me feel better and I kept reading. From what I could surmise a better name for the club would be "People who want to go to a movie, concert, dinner, museum, hiking, art gallery, festival, or comedy club but don't want to go alone and feel awkward and look out of place, even if only in their own minds Club." But that does not roll off the tongue quite as easily as "Singles Club." I'll give them a pass on that.
So without much hesitation I joined that one too. They seem to have quite an active membership, I have received a warm welcome and the calendar is full of outings every week. I have tentatively RSVP'd to a dinner out with the group next week.
Within a half hour, I had joined and committed to three new groups of people who share my interests and have a desire to meet others. It was quite exhilarating and overwhelming at the same time. I am hard on myself often, actually I am my own worst critic, but this time, I identified a lack in my life and took positive steps toward filling it. I am proud of me.
Reader Comments (9)
Well done you! And you should be proud of yourself, it is all to easy to stay within the comfort zone, to accept the status quo, and yet here you are, blowing both out of the water. Have a great time with all those clubs, they sound pretty fab.
For months now I have been subscribed to the Bristol SF & Fantasy Club, but have never gone along to one of their meets. Reading this, I think I may just do it. I mean, its not like I have anything to lose, right?
YAY! for you!!! Your bravery almost makes me want to do the same thing. Almost. Keep us posted with how it's going!
I am proud of you, too! That's awesome. I know you'll meet some fabulous people and make new friends.
Thanks, guys! Will definitely keep you posted here. (Part of the allure in doing it was the potential blog fodder.) :-)
Nicely done! At the beginning of this post, Meetup.com popped into my mind, and I was determined to remember to mention it to you. It sounds to me that you might have already found it, though. Either way, good for you for branching out and exploring the options around you! :)
It can be so easy to go with what's comfortable and familiar. I have often thought that if I were single, I'd hardly ever leave my home! A book club is a great way to get out and connect. I belong to two now. One is at work but the other is a social one, with a group of women that I'm so grateful to know. Most of them are a generation ahead of me, and I love how we have such different views on the books we read. I hope you enjoy your new connections too.
It is so bizarre that you blogged about this.. Recently separated, with the new interest literally an ocean away, friends at different places in their life to me... I started to explore this exact same thing. Evening classes and clubs. I can't find a local book club, but am soooorely tempted to email the local theatre group and get involved, even in a small (off stage!) way, but I am not confident enough.
I want to take cooking classes, languages classes, I want to explore Kelly for Kelly, not as Mother, friend, girlfriend etc.. Since separating, I want to find out more about myself that I ought to have done many years ago. I am introverted as well, and find it hard to do these sorts of things for that reason. I want to find my passions, though, so I will persevere. You've inspired me to keep at it!
Thank you, Kellee, Sue and Kel! I appreciate you all so much.
Kel, you should definitely get in touch with the local theatre group! Artists, and especially those in the performing arts, are some of the most accepting, welcoming and generous souls around. I think you might love it! Goodness knows you deserve some fun. I think the "exploring Kelly" idea is fabulous. The parts of you I know, I love... you should get to know you too. Hugs to you, sweet friend.
Very inspiring. I think I need to pursue that, too. Less pressure than the dating thing is turning out to be. Being alone is so great and so not great, by turns, isn't it?