The art of being
Debra
I awoke one bitterly cold morning in January with these words forefront in my mind: I am brave in 2010. I wrote them down so I could stare at the words and let their meaning sink in. The phrase struck me as wonderfully purposeful but at the same time, very unlike me. Before, I would most likely have written, “I will try to be braver in 2010” or “I will do my best to be brave.” Not so that day. This was to be the year I stopped trying and started doing… no, started being.
It’s amazing what opportunities, large and small, presented themselves once I had the intent to be brave. Some have been amazingly fun, others quite painful, but all have given me the opportunity to stretch and grow and find untapped strength within myself. I wouldn't have changed anything.
Nothing I have accomplished so far may seem like brave things to you. Some of you have always felt at ease exploring the unknown and being vulnerable but these were brave steps toward the person I aspire to be. I want to experience and feel and love more than I ever have before. To do that, I knew I had to broaden my horizons and expand my comfort zone. And I have.
So why was I able to wake up in January and decide to be brave? Because, at the same time, I gave myself permission to fail. I committed to giving myself everything I needed to make these new ventures successful, like working with a life coach, requesting critiques of my fiction writing and opening my heart to new people, but I also promised myself that if something wasn't as enjoyable as I thought it would be, I was free to walk away. That was new for me. I've always been one who either had to see something through to the (often bitter) end and be successful or I just wouldn't even try.
I have learned that the trying is the success, regardless of the outcome. Nothing is a waste of time if you learn from it, even if all you learn is that you really don’t like it or you don't find value in it. I am going to continue to be brave and accept the opportunities that come my way. It is changing my life in profound and magical ways.
Reader Comments (4)
So proud of you, my sweet friend. You ARE brave. <3
It has been a joy to watch you try new things and reach new heights! You should be very proud of yourself. xoxo
Kellee and Mary -- I wouldn't be half as brave without wonderful friends like you, always supporting and cheering me on. xoxo
"The trying is the success". That's the key, isn't it? I remember when I would go on Girl Scout camp outs with my daughter (which I disliked immensely but am glad I went). Each girl was given an opportunity to do the zipline. I can't remember the cute phrase they used, but it was something like "a challenge of choice". You could choose to do the whole thing: put on the harness and helmet, climb the ladder, be clipped to the line, and finally zip across. Or, you could to just put the harness on. Whatever the case, you chose the challenge that was rigtht for you at that time. It's a great lesson for all of us. Those girls didn't have to zip across to be successes: they had to choose to try, and try at the level that worked for them. It has been such a joy getting to know you online Deb. I'm so thankful for the connection we have, and for the lessons I've learned, watching you. You ARE brave. And I believe, when we see ourselves as something, which is the way you stated it in January, you're halfway to making it real.