Twitterisms

I'm still not at liberty to talk about things so I thought I would share some of the tweets that have caught my eye lately. Some are inspirational, some are giggle-inducers, and a few might just make you think.

I hope to be back to regular posts soon but I hope you enjoy this one. And, you might find some new people to follow. I recommend them all.  

@AFlirtYourself -- The doors we open and close each day determine the lives we live. ~ Flora Whittemore

@TheSingleWoman -- Like the pieces of a puzzle, the people meant to be in your life will fit naturally.

@TheSingleWoman -- You're where you are for a reason. And you're where you're NOT for a reason, too...

@DeepakChopra -- Be mindful of how you release your negativity so that it does not reflect back into your reality.

@AnneLamott -- You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better.

@HotComesToDie -- The beauty of men is that they always think they're fabulous. It never occurs to them they're not.  The tragedy of women is that they never think they're fabulous. It never occurs to them they are.

@JackGrayCNN -- When you start your day playing a 110 point word on Words with Friends, you know it's all downhill from there.

@TheSingleWoman -- I'd rather be someone who's single than someone who's settled. #justsaying

@NovelDoctor -- If I could live anywhere, I'd live in the hesitation before the last page of a great novel is turned.

@thecheckoutgirl -- Love is an escalator and my heart's shoe is untied. 

@kristysf -- My daughter just looked at my tummy and said, "Mama, your belly button is SPICY." I'm gonna go with "compliment."

@TheSingleWoman -- Sometimes serendipity comes knocking on your door in the form of a detour, an obstacle, or even a breakup.

@DrLori71 -- 5y.o. watching Kidz Bop commercial: They spelled kids wrong. Me: They did that to be funny. 5y.o.: That's not funny. Not funny at all. 

@AFlirtYourself -- Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin. ~ Grace Hansen

@TheSingleWoman -- Let go of how you think Love is SUPPOSED to arrive. Love LOVES to sneak up & take you by surprise! :) 

 

@_TomMcLaughlin -- Just found the hamster dead. So far, everyone seems to have an alibi.

Flowers and (Vegan) Candy to You

I wish you all a lovely Valentine's Day. May you feel the warmth and beauty of a companion soul in this world. 

xoxo

Photo from http://free-extras.com/ 

The Fear

"Well, you've finally done it. You're officially more trouble than you're worth."

He didn't mean it. He was joking with me in response to me telling him about going vegan. I laughed with him, joked about one of his more annoying qualities and we hung up the telephone with the usual goodbyes and miss yous. He's one of my closest friends and if he knew that comment still rattled around my brain, bringing tears to my eyes, he would feel horrible. 

It only hurts because it's been an underlying fear that I've had ever since making this decision; since becoming a vegetarian four years ago, really. I never know how people are going to react when they know that sometimes special accommodations have to be made if I'm going to go out to lunch, come over for dinner or travel with them. It should be easier than it is but a good 75% of the time, it's difficult. And that percentage was just from being vegetarian. I expect it to be closer to 90% or more being vegan.

I've never been sent a wedding invitation that asks if I prefer chicken, beef or a vegetable kabob. I've had to turn down work lunches because after perusing the selected restaurant's online menu, I know there's nothing there I can eat. How many holiday dishes can you name that don't contain cream, butter, milk, eggs, sour cream, gelatin or mayonnaise? Forget about the turkey or ham sitting in the middle of the table, I can't even eat the side dishes. 

I know he didn't mean it. He was teasing me just like he's always teased me and if I wanted to go to lunch with him, he'd make sure that we went somewhere with options for me on the menu. It's not my close friends that I'm worried about. It's everyone else. 

For instance, I have two all day workshops planned later this year that will involve traveling with strangers and stopping for at least one meal, if not two. How do I voice an opinion on where to eat if I don't know the area? Why should my minority vote count, anyway? Do I bring my own food and sit outside and eat by myself? Or sit at the table sipping a glass of water, sneaking almonds from my bag? 

I was worried about Girls Weekend this year. Thank goodness, Denise has an adventurous spirit and a love of new foods because she's actually excited about trying new vegan restaurants this time around. I hate that I can't go to all the great food places she'd probably love to go to but I love that she's willing to venture to new places and try new foods with me. She's made the whole planning of the weekend seem like a treasure hunt. 

David is the same way. He's 100% behind me and supportive of my decision. Thankfully, he'll be with me on those all day workshops and will understand if I'm sitting at the table, sneaking almonds. I guess I'm just afraid of alienating people and alienating myself. I don't need to be even more alone. And I certainly don't want to be the one who is "more trouble than she's worth." 

What Is the Point?

We were the only ones sitting in the coffee shop. Others walked in, ordered and left again but we were the only two who decided to take a seat and watch for a while. I love sitting at one of two tables in that shop. One gives me a view of the main street and a glimpse of the park; the other, an only slightly-obstructed view of the kitchen and the coffee bean storage room. I love peeking in that room. Huge burlap bags of beans lying around like relatives after Thanksgiving dinner... prone, still and a bit bloated. If I liked coffee, that room would be my idea of heaven.

That morning I had chosen the table by the window. It was a busy day and the lure of passersby was just too appealing. I didn't even pull out my phone or journal, I just sat transfixed by what was moving past the window. He had chosen a table on the other side of the room, but since the room is only about ten feet across we were well within conversational distance. I felt him watching me for a few minutes, while I watched the world outside, and then turned to ask him if this town was his home. It wasn't, we were both just pulled here for different reasons that morning but that was enough of an opening that he walked over and sat down with me. We sat in companionable silence, watching. 

Finally he asked a question. I answered and asked him another question. We vollied back and forth for a while, the traffic on the street temporarily forgotten. He asked what I did for fun. I rattled off the standard response of hobbies and then threw out, "And, I'm a writer." Without missing a beat he said with a bit of a chuckle, "Really? I've always hated reading. I just don't see the point." Without missing a beat, I excused myself to get a refill of my herbal tea. As I made my way past the table and to the door, I held up my watch and said, "I have to go. Have a good day." 

He was left to watch through the window as I became just another figure walking by, walking away. If asked why I didn't stay, sadly, I just didn't see the point.

Wanted: My Tribe

In the spirit of "Ask and ye shall receive," I'm just going to put this out there and see what comes of it:

I want friends.

If you know me at all, that sounds ridiculous and a bit selfish because I have the best friends on the planet. I have tried and true decades-long friendships and other supportive relationships well on the way to the same milestones. I work with kind people, have good-hearted neighbors and a generous family that is always there for me when I need them. I’m not lacking people who understand and love me. My support system is strung from California to The Netherlands, from Canada to Australia and back again.

But what I don't have are friends who are right here, who don't have family obligations or possessive partners or who I don't have to take a day off to see. I need a small group of friends right here who are available for after work trips to the coffee shop, weekend brunches and last minute movie matinees. I've tried joining clubs, groups and classes but so far, I haven't had any luck. Now, I'm sending it out to the Interwebs.

I want friends.

Beautiful Day

Today is my best friend's birthday and the first day of Spring. That is as perfect a pairing as 'Joan & David' or 'mani & pedi'. They simply go together.

This is a milestone birthday for my friend and fitting that it coincide with the start of the season of rebirth and growth. I have no doubt that she will enter this new phase of her life with her trademark energy and creativity and make something beautiful from it.

If I could wish her one thing, on this most auspicious day, it would be that she receive as much joy and kindness as she gives. 

Happy birthday, my friend! 

Faking It

'Tis the season for holiday parties and concerts and plays and I couldn't feel less like participating. If I had my way, I would go to bed right now and hibernate until the spring thaw. I'm not sure what's wrong, if it's emotional or physical, but I'm exhausted and sad and a little cranky. 

I'm not hibernating, however. I am forcing myself to go and do, see and be seen, even if it hurts and even if I have to leave to find a place where I can fall apart and even if I can't get through the day without yawns so big they threaten to unhinge my jaw. Part of me wonders if I'm doing the right thing, pushing myself, but I know sitting at home and moping isn't helping anything. 

I'm doing things because I think I should, not because I want to. Or I know that once I go I'll have a good time and I could really use some good times. I miss my friends, old and new, and sitting at home grieving over being alone isn't a productive use of time. 

So I continue to schedule events I don't want to attend and smile my way through times when I don't feel it. Sometimes I get lucky and fake my way right into joy. Those times are precious. Those times are what I cling to when I'm falling apart. Those are the times that let me know I'm going to be just fine. 

'Tis just the season.