Jumbled

My brain feels like the junk drawer we all have in our kitchens. There are a multitude of interesting and silly and misplaced and memorable things jumbled up in there, but I can't get a single idea untangled from the rest to examine it and write a proper post about it.

I want to pull each of them out, one by one, and let you hold them while I tell you the stories of how they came to be but I don't know that I'm ready. Just know that many wonderful things are happening, beautiful people are in my life and all is good. 

For the first time in... five years, maybe?... I feel something deep within that is letting me know that I am just where I need to be, doing exactly what I should be doing. I know without a doubt that things are going to turn out better than I've even dreamed. For the first time in my life, I can say the words, "I am enough," and not only mean them but own them. 

I feel like me again. 

It is all very good. 

Lest I Forget

Sometimes I know I must sound depressed or lost or maybe even angry about where I am in my life. Sometimes I am. I am not comfortable with all the uncertainty and decision making and "what am I going to be when I grow up?" conversations I still have in front of me. It is not that I want my entire life mapped out but if I just knew which direction I was headed... that would be keen.

But I am also incredibly grateful. I have a job that grants me a nice lifestyle. I lack nothing I need and very little I want. I am able to put money away for retirement, give to charity and take nice trips. My health is great, my body does whatever I ask of it, with very little complaint, and my mind has not failed me yet. *knock wood*

Most of all, I am surrounded by the most amazing people. Though the tension at work supersedes everything else, everyone around me is a good person. We are just unfortunately on opposite sides of the issues most of the time. My family, though I do not spend as much time with them as I should, are always there for me. My friends are of the highest quality. I could not ask for a better support system. I am especially thankful for you here, who read, comment and support. The gift of your time means so much. 

I am incredibly lucky, incredibly grateful. Let none of us lose sight of that.

In what ways are you lucky? What makes you grateful?