Feeling At Home

My 'regular' at the coffee shop: cinnamon-orange decaf teaI've spent part of every weekend since early November in the neighborhood I'm considering moving to. I've been feeling my way around, driving up and down streets, looking at houses, checking out the locals, walking through the parks. You might say I've been trying out the town to see if it fits and how comfortable it is. The place is winning me over in a big way. 

The owners and managers of the shops I've been in have introduced themselves to me and been so friendly, every time I go to the coffee shop someone engages me in conversation and I even went so far as to join a writers' group that meets at the local independent bookstore.  

I'm sort of moving in without the hassle of cardboard boxes and packing tape. 

Last weekend, I spent the entire afternoon there, enjoying the Christmas Walk in the downtown area. Most of the shops were open, which was a treat because they aren't normally open on Sundays. Everyone was offering specials and sales and free hot drinks and there were singers serenading everyone with Christmas carols on the sidewalk. A horse-drawn trolley took children to see Santa and Mrs. Claus and then everyone gathered at the park to hear Christmas carols by the church choir and watch Santa light the 30' pine in the center of the plaza. And even though it was an all-day event sponsored and primarily attended by the residents of the community, I was welcomed and taken in as though I belonged. It is so unlike the town I live in now, it's hard to describe. I've never felt quite so at home in a place so unfamiliar. It's amazing.

BeforeAfter

August

The beginning of a new month sometimes strikes me as a perfect time to take stock of things, assume a clean slate and make changes. August is going to be that month for me. I have been stuck for a while now in a sad and dark place and for a long time was worried I would never see past it. But today, August 1, I can.

It hasn't been as easy as a flip of the calendar getting here. I have been struggling and fighting and clawing my way out of the deep hole of depression I've been in but finally, I'm here. There have been some lovely things happening in my life the past couple of weeks, some wonderful people are becoming new friends, some old friends have emerged, and I am beginning to find time for things that bring me joy.

August. The word itself means "inspiring reverence or admiration; of supreme dignity or grandeur; majestic." Seems like a perfect word and month in which to make changes, wouldn't you agree?

Meet Up

I have not been able to get the dream out of my mind. Or, rather, I have not been able to get what I perceived to be the message of the dream out of my mind. It bothers me that I spend so much time alone even though my favorite activities of writing and reading dictate it. When I attempt a night out and go to dinner or a movie, most often times I am alone, such is the life of the single woman amongst happily paired-off and parenting friends. Even at work, many hours of the week are spent alone at my desk, in silent companionship with the sole coworker who works near me. There are entire weeks when I do not spend a single hour in friendly non-work pursuits with another person. Even this upcoming trip to Chicago that I am so looking forward to will be spent alone. Other than a few conversations with James, my favorite doorman at the hotel, I may not speak to anyone else other than to order food or give the taxi driver my destination.

I am introverted by nature. Being around large crowds or boisterous people for extended periods drains the life out of me. I need to be alone after those situations to recharge my battery and begin to feel human again. However, one on one conversations or quiet evenings spent with close friends are like fuel.  I do not require times like that often but I do need them. Humans need interaction, don't they?

All of this was on my mind Friday afternoon when I finished yet another work day without speaking to anyone. I spent an hour or more thinking of ways to meet people in a casual but friendly atmosphere. Nothing came to mind. I had just given up and picked up the book I was reading when it hit me. A book club. I have never been part of a book club but what an ingenious way to combine two things I enjoy, reading books and talking about books. Add to that meeting new book-loving people and it sounded perfect.

I immediately grabbed the MacBook and Googled local book clubs. I swear to you, I have done this at least once a year since moving here and never with any desirable results. This time, I hit the jackpot. I found a rather strong, active book club in Peoria and joined immediately. Of course, luck being what it is for me sometimes, the June meeting was already closed to additional attendees and I will be out of the country for the July meeting but I am determined to meet them in August, if at all possible.

Once my book club registration was complete, the site I was on offered to show me other clubs in the area. I clicked and was pleasantly surprised (read: shocked) by the number of offerings. I immediately joined an independent film club that meets once a month for the sole intent of watching indie films together. Before I could even think about my nerves, I RSVP'd to their June meeting at a theater in Peoria to watch the independent film playing that night. Actually, this sounds like a great first event for me. A few moments of small talk in the lobby, followed by two hours of a great film (no conversation needed) and then an hour or so of discussion of the film (ready-made topic) sounds like a perfect evening.

Inspired by my sudden burst of bravery, I continued to pursue the list of clubs. Many were centered on hobbies I do not have and there were several 'mommy' groups but then my eye landed on a singles club. At first I had no interest in that one either but the tag line was intriguing so I clicked on it. The website stated in several places that this is not a dating club so that made me feel better and I kept reading. From what I could surmise a better name for the club would be "People who want to go to a movie, concert, dinner, museum, hiking, art gallery, festival, or comedy club but don't want to go alone and feel awkward and look out of place, even if only in their own minds Club." But that does not roll off the tongue quite as easily as "Singles Club." I'll give them a pass on that.

So without much hesitation I joined that one too. They seem to have quite an active membership, I have received a warm welcome and the calendar is full of outings every week. I have tentatively RSVP'd to a dinner out with the group next week.

Within a half hour, I had joined and committed to three new groups of people who share my interests and have a desire to meet others. It was quite exhilarating and overwhelming at the same time. I am hard on myself often, actually I am my own worst critic, but this time, I identified a lack in my life and took positive steps toward filling it. I am proud of me.