Jumbled

My brain feels like the junk drawer we all have in our kitchens. There are a multitude of interesting and silly and misplaced and memorable things jumbled up in there, but I can't get a single idea untangled from the rest to examine it and write a proper post about it.

I want to pull each of them out, one by one, and let you hold them while I tell you the stories of how they came to be but I don't know that I'm ready. Just know that many wonderful things are happening, beautiful people are in my life and all is good. 

For the first time in... five years, maybe?... I feel something deep within that is letting me know that I am just where I need to be, doing exactly what I should be doing. I know without a doubt that things are going to turn out better than I've even dreamed. For the first time in my life, I can say the words, "I am enough," and not only mean them but own them. 

I feel like me again. 

It is all very good. 

Amazing, Grace

I wonder sometimes if anyone else spends as much time in their head as I do. There are hours every day in which I talk to myself, trying to coax myself into a better mood, talking myself into being braver or stronger, and reminding myself that rolling up into the fetal position on the floor really is a bad idea. I spend even more time analyzing every situation, second guessing most of my decisions and generally, being my own backseat driver in life.

And yet, I persevere. Whether because of my constant self-talk or in spite of it, I get through each day, relatively unscathed and ready to try again tomorrow.  

The human mind and resiliency astound me.